Missing half of my heart

Now that I moved out of California to a quiet and calm place in Arkansas, it seems my aching soul gets a little break. 

My heart still and will always hurt, but I have less of the triggers that would bring me to my knees.

I also know that our President will make sure Americans will be safer and maybe less have to feel this kind of pain. 

I am very proud that I was a huge part of the Trump movement and got to share Dominic’s story with millions of people.

A new journey started for me, sadly without my sweet boy, but he guides me and surrounds me with his huge domhugs.

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Flying with my very own angel

Since Dominic’s death I haven’t been on a small aircraft like he used to fly. It carried too much pain and I just wanted to remember the many amazing and fun flights he took me on. Just the thought of going to the little airport in Riverside made me tear up.

But when I found out one of Dominic’s best friends Chris was so inspired by Dominic and got his pilots license, I couldn’t and wouldn’t say no to him.

I didn’t want to say ‘ no thanks’. I sucked up my fear of driving  to that very airport my sweet son learned how to fly. The very same place where Dominic took me for a flight 5 minutes after he received his pilots license. The place of many hours of watching him do his thing, watching him with pride as he worked on a plane or just hanging out with the people there.

So many beautiful memories that I now cherish so much and will never forget.

The tears flowed freely as I walked into the airport and in Dominic’s footsteps. I could hear his laughter and see his smile as I walked past the buildings and towards the planes. My knees almost buckled, but as I was holding on to his old headphones, I started feeling his arms around me and whispering: enjoy this mom, fly and feel me up there with you.

Chris did an outstanding  job and I had a blast. Sadly the weather wasn’t all that good and we couldn’t fly as long as we had planned, but we will go again and enjoy this one more time.

A bittersweet morning. A flight that lifted me up towards the clouds and seeing the world from Dominic’s perspective one more time.

Spread your angel wings sweet son of mine. Soar and keep watch over us

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Still pinching myself 

….for being a part of history now and that the world now heard my sweet Dominic’s story and knows his name.

Thank you Donald J. Trump, friend, hero, life saver and future President of the USA for inviting me and giving my son and thousand of other victims a voice.

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Blessed and ready to share at the RNC in Cleveland, Ohio 

4 years ago I was afraid of microphones and public speaking.

Now I am heading to the RNC  and get to share Dominic’s  tragedy on Monday night. 

When i share how he was taken from all of us, my heart and prayers will be with all the other victims who can not speak anymore.

I will honor each and everyone that has ever been affected by this. 

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/video/3432226-moreno-valley-mom-to-speak-at-rnc-about-her-sons-death-illegal-immigration

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Dear God, help us all

The last few days have been very hard to deal with and my heart is heavy and broken all over again.

Not only was Dominic working for the Sheriffs Department as a 911 Dispatcher, but his goal was to become a Helicopter pilot for the Police Department. He was also already working on becoming a motorcycle cop and excited to be out there on the front line with his friends. 

My extended family, his friends are Law Enforcement and the news of officers shot, injured and dead was more than I could handle. 

I was kind of glad that I was no where near a tv, but we listened to it all happening on the radio as we traveled from California to Arkansas.

I lost it big time. My heart was hurting for  those brave officers running into harms way, while others got to run away and hide and stay safe.

My mind went to the terrified family members at home, waiting if their loved one would return after a tragic day like that or if a couple of officers would knock on the door to deliver a life changing brutal message. 

I am still in shock over what is taking place all over the country and I pray it will be over before it gets worst. 

On the eve of the 4th anniversary of Dominic’s death, my heart is extra heavy as many families feel the pain I have in my heart 24/7, because their loved one was ripped out of their life in a split second. 

I wonder if they were as blessed as I was/am.

Will they  be able to say they enjoyed each other’s company and lived every moment as if it was their last?

 Would they get to say they have no regrets on how they lived each day with that person?

Did they get to say good bye and hug and kiss, not knowing it was their last time together? 

Would they be as fortunate as I am to be surrounded by many supportive and loving people long after the funerals ? 

I will never know the answers, but I pray that those left behind, picking up the pieces, will have a little gift like Dominic left me.

Please keep all the victims, their families and all the First Responders in your prayers and thoughts. 

They will never be the same.

May God bless each one of us 

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Orlando, Istanbul, India…..

…..so much pain, so many  families destroyed and lives lost. 

Every time I see another tragedy unfold, it re opens my already broken heart. It takes me to a ugly place and I also physically feel the pain of so many. I immediately remember that brutal phone call, where I was and I can even still hear myself scream as I was told my sweet Dominic was dead.

My heart breaks for all those victims and their loved ones. It goes out to the first responders that had to put aside their own  fears and hurt in order to function. This doesn’t just affect the immediate family and friends of the victims. It affects so many and they will never be the same.

It just hurts deeply to know what so many now have to deal with from here on out. They will never be or act the same. The  feeling safety and carefree is gone and many of the wounds will never be seen on the outside.  

Our world has changed so very much. So very drastically. It’s scary and we have to explain to the little ones things we never imagined we would have to talk about. 

We could just live in fear and stop enjoying this wonderful life we were given. But then evil will win.

We have to be more aware of our surroundings and be mindful of what’s out there. And we can’t stick our head in the sand or act like we don’t know. Ignorance is no longer acceptable with all the info out there.

Dominic’s short life of 30 years taught me so very much. He lived every day as if it was his last. Memories were created that so many, including me, cherish and hold dear to our hearts. He didn’t waste time with nonsense and truly made the very best of every day that was gifted to him. 

Instead of living in fear and fear for the future, let’s create many sweet memories of fun and happy times.

Here are some of mine……


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April and May …..my head is still spinning

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My head is still spinning from all that has happened and taken place lately.

On April 28th, I attended my first Trump Rally in Costa Mesa, California. Wonderful Robin H. made it possible to go behind the stage to meet Mr. Trump. What an exciting feeling to be around our next President again and to get that very comforting hug. The group also got to display all the banners with pictures of the victims of illegal alien crime on stage. Mr. Trump shared how he will make America great again, build that wall and make sure no other families will have to endure this pain and grief. After leaving the stage, many of my Twitter followers came around to take pictures and give me hugs. The media clearly stayed away from us and not one reporter wanted to hear more about victims of illegal alien crime.

My moms 96th Birthday was right around the corner and I went to Germany for a few weeks to celebrate with her and my family and friends.

On May 25th, I got to attend another Trump rally in Anaheim, California and was asked to share Dominic’s story with the thousands  of Trump
supporters. The energy in the Convention Center was amazing and as Mr. Trump was leaving the venue, he saw our group and the posters of our beloved children. He made time to come over, kiss the faces of our late children and sign the poster. This was so spontaneous and real. Not staged or pre planned, but from the heart and genuine. As Mr. Trump signed Dominic’s poster, he was looking for me in the crowd and gave me the “thumbs up” sign and a huge smile. Breitbart is the only one that  reported  this very touching moment. The rest of the media stayed away as ususal.

On May 28th, we were invited again to attend the Trump rally in San Diego. I was honored to once again share Dominic’s story with the thousa
nds of Trump supporters and as I left the stage, I saw a lady sitting in the secured area and she was crying. I made my way over to her and as we hugged, she told me she knew my pain. She also lost her son. Only later did I realize it was Sean Smith’s mom Patricia. He died in the Benghazi attack that killed Ambassador Stevens and 3 others.

My head is still spinning and I am trying to recall all the events that happened in the last 2 month. Its clearly too much to write about, but it is clear how the media is avoiding us to share our stories. Many other moms and dads have to deal with the pain and grief I now have to endure 24/7 and I will try to get their stories out as well. Mr. Trump is the ONLY Presidential candidate that will talk about this issue and I am forever grateful to him for bringing awareness to this issue.

My life has changed with the loss of Dominic. I am not the same woman I was 4 years ago. My fear of public speaking is gone and I don’t mind sharing Dominic’s story with 10 or 10thousand people.

I was given a huge opportunity by Mr. Trump to make sure many people will hear how and why Dominic is no longer enjoying life and I will continue to share the brutal truth of our failed Immigration system.

Thank you to all the wonderful Twitter supporters, Facebook friends and everyone else who supports DOMHUGS.

A huge THANK YOU to Mr. Trump and his incredible team!

From my heart to yours….

 

 

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Who was Dominic and was he really that funny?

Dominic was my only child, my best friend, the love of my life, the best friend of so many and an incredible human being.

In his short 30 years of life, he accomplished more than some people do in a lifetime. He was named Volunteer of the Year 2004 in our City, managed to get his Private Pilot license and rescued his beloved Cyrus from the pound.

His motorcycle, traveling and hanging out with friends was very important to him and even though he lead a very busy life, he was never too busy to spend time with me. I now have 30 years of wonderful memories of times spent together.

Dominic was also known to be the most dependable and reliable friend, coworker and also the kind of man every parent would want for a son in law.

My sweet son lived life to the fullest and truly enjoyed life as if he knew he wouldn’t be around for a long time.

His sense of humor was second to none, his deep and contagious laugh and his photo bombing  bug eyes became his trademark. Many people, including me, became victims of his pranks and many stories are still being shared and fondly remembered.

Dom’s best prank was one that involved a local Police Officer that helped him pull off the ultimate prank of all times. He arranged for that Officer to pull him over as he was on his way to the airport to go flying with a friend who visited from out of town. The Officer pulled them over and after some questioning of who, what and where, he asked Dominic to step out of the truck and handcuffed him.

Tom was visibly shaking and upset as the officer asked him where they were heading to. He shared that they were on their way to the airport to go flying and the Officer replied: “oh, is that what they call it now? Do you know he is the best known and busiest male prostitute known around here?  You are under arrest. ”

As poor Tom was about to lose it and pass out, Dominic and the Officer busted out laughing so hard and could barley stand up any longer.

This prank and so many others he pulled on unsuspecting friends will always put a huge smile on all of our faces and broken hearts.

Dominic taught all of us to enjoy every moment in life. He made us realize2931092114911511189 to live and love to the fullest, cease every moment and most of all, live without regrets.

He will never be forgotten and his presence is still felt by many who knew him.

I miss my “German Chocolate” son and his great Domhugs.

 

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