A few days ago I wasn’t sure what to post here. I have been struggling with my thoughts and words.
the month of November and December are always the hardest out of the year and I was already feeling blue. While people create their guest- and shopping lists and seating plans for Thanksgiving, I was dreading the 3rd Thanksgiving without Dominic. No more potlucks with him at the 911 Dispatch Center, because he would always work for someone who had kids. Thinking about my Birthday coming up and no more prank gifts or off key birthday song followed by the biggest hug.
I was really at a low when I heard about the horrific attack on the people of France. Paris was under siege.
All of a sudden the pain I felt in my heart for myself, changed into pain for all those families who would get those brutal words ” I am so sorry, but your loved one is dead”. Oh how that moment on July 12,2012 was brought back into my memory and it brought me to my knees.
I started to cry for all the victims, the wounded and the dead. For the many Law Enforcement members that could never be prepared for this. Tears ran down my face for all the First Responders, Dispatchers and all the people who were not physically hurt, but would carry the scars of this day forever.
And then I started to think about all the wonderful moments with Dominic. From the day he was born, to the day I had to say Goodbye. I realized how truly blessed I was to have been chosen to be his mom for 30 years. Even though my heart is broken, I carry so many wonderful memorable moments that help me through the worst of days or nights
I am hoping and praying that one day, when the shock wears off and the noise goes away, they too, will be able to remember all the wonderful moments with of their loved ones.
May it bring a smile on their lips and hearts.