Dear God, help us all

The last few days have been very hard to deal with and my heart is heavy and broken all over again.

Not only was Dominic working for the Sheriffs Department as a 911 Dispatcher, but his goal was to become a Helicopter pilot for the Police Department. He was also already working on becoming a motorcycle cop and excited to be out there on the front line with his friends. 

My extended family, his friends are Law Enforcement and the news of officers shot, injured and dead was more than I could handle. 

I was kind of glad that I was no where near a tv, but we listened to it all happening on the radio as we traveled from California to Arkansas.

I lost it big time. My heart was hurting for  those brave officers running into harms way, while others got to run away and hide and stay safe.

My mind went to the terrified family members at home, waiting if their loved one would return after a tragic day like that or if a couple of officers would knock on the door to deliver a life changing brutal message. 

I am still in shock over what is taking place all over the country and I pray it will be over before it gets worst. 

On the eve of the 4th anniversary of Dominic’s death, my heart is extra heavy as many families feel the pain I have in my heart 24/7, because their loved one was ripped out of their life in a split second. 

I wonder if they were as blessed as I was/am.

Will they  be able to say they enjoyed each other’s company and lived every moment as if it was their last?

 Would they get to say they have no regrets on how they lived each day with that person?

Did they get to say good bye and hug and kiss, not knowing it was their last time together? 

Would they be as fortunate as I am to be surrounded by many supportive and loving people long after the funerals ? 

I will never know the answers, but I pray that those left behind, picking up the pieces, will have a little gift like Dominic left me.

Please keep all the victims, their families and all the First Responders in your prayers and thoughts. 

They will never be the same.

May God bless each one of us 

Read More

Orlando, Istanbul, India…..

…..so much pain, so many  families destroyed and lives lost. 

Every time I see another tragedy unfold, it re opens my already broken heart. It takes me to a ugly place and I also physically feel the pain of so many. I immediately remember that brutal phone call, where I was and I can even still hear myself scream as I was told my sweet Dominic was dead.

My heart breaks for all those victims and their loved ones. It goes out to the first responders that had to put aside their own  fears and hurt in order to function. This doesn’t just affect the immediate family and friends of the victims. It affects so many and they will never be the same.

It just hurts deeply to know what so many now have to deal with from here on out. They will never be or act the same. The  feeling safety and carefree is gone and many of the wounds will never be seen on the outside.  

Our world has changed so very much. So very drastically. It’s scary and we have to explain to the little ones things we never imagined we would have to talk about. 

We could just live in fear and stop enjoying this wonderful life we were given. But then evil will win.

We have to be more aware of our surroundings and be mindful of what’s out there. And we can’t stick our head in the sand or act like we don’t know. Ignorance is no longer acceptable with all the info out there.

Dominic’s short life of 30 years taught me so very much. He lived every day as if it was his last. Memories were created that so many, including me, cherish and hold dear to our hearts. He didn’t waste time with nonsense and truly made the very best of every day that was gifted to him. 

Instead of living in fear and fear for the future, let’s create many sweet memories of fun and happy times.

Here are some of mine……


Read More

April and May …..my head is still spinning

IMG_3327 (2)

My head is still spinning from all that has happened and taken place lately.

On April 28th, I attended my first Trump Rally in Costa Mesa, California. Wonderful Robin H. made it possible to go behind the stage to meet Mr. Trump. What an exciting feeling to be around our next President again and to get that very comforting hug. The group also got to display all the banners with pictures of the victims of illegal alien crime on stage. Mr. Trump shared how he will make America great again, build that wall and make sure no other families will have to endure this pain and grief. After leaving the stage, many of my Twitter followers came around to take pictures and give me hugs. The media clearly stayed away from us and not one reporter wanted to hear more about victims of illegal alien crime.

My moms 96th Birthday was right around the corner and I went to Germany for a few weeks to celebrate with her and my family and friends.

On May 25th, I got to attend another Trump rally in Anaheim, California and was asked to share Dominic’s story with the thousands  of Trump
supporters. The energy in the Convention Center was amazing and as Mr. Trump was leaving the venue, he saw our group and the posters of our beloved children. He made time to come over, kiss the faces of our late children and sign the poster. This was so spontaneous and real. Not staged or pre planned, but from the heart and genuine. As Mr. Trump signed Dominic’s poster, he was looking for me in the crowd and gave me the “thumbs up” sign and a huge smile. Breitbart is the only one that  reported  this very touching moment. The rest of the media stayed away as ususal.

On May 28th, we were invited again to attend the Trump rally in San Diego. I was honored to once again share Dominic’s story with the thousa
nds of Trump supporters and as I left the stage, I saw a lady sitting in the secured area and she was crying. I made my way over to her and as we hugged, she told me she knew my pain. She also lost her son. Only later did I realize it was Sean Smith’s mom Patricia. He died in the Benghazi attack that killed Ambassador Stevens and 3 others.

My head is still spinning and I am trying to recall all the events that happened in the last 2 month. Its clearly too much to write about, but it is clear how the media is avoiding us to share our stories. Many other moms and dads have to deal with the pain and grief I now have to endure 24/7 and I will try to get their stories out as well. Mr. Trump is the ONLY Presidential candidate that will talk about this issue and I am forever grateful to him for bringing awareness to this issue.

My life has changed with the loss of Dominic. I am not the same woman I was 4 years ago. My fear of public speaking is gone and I don’t mind sharing Dominic’s story with 10 or 10thousand people.

I was given a huge opportunity by Mr. Trump to make sure many people will hear how and why Dominic is no longer enjoying life and I will continue to share the brutal truth of our failed Immigration system.

Thank you to all the wonderful Twitter supporters, Facebook friends and everyone else who supports DOMHUGS.

A huge THANK YOU to Mr. Trump and his incredible team!

From my heart to yours….

 

 

Read More

Who was Dominic and was he really that funny?

Dominic was my only child, my best friend, the love of my life, the best friend of so many and an incredible human being.

In his short 30 years of life, he accomplished more than some people do in a lifetime. He was named Volunteer of the Year 2004 in our City, managed to get his Private Pilot license and rescued his beloved Cyrus from the pound.

His motorcycle, traveling and hanging out with friends was very important to him and even though he lead a very busy life, he was never too busy to spend time with me. I now have 30 years of wonderful memories of times spent together.

Dominic was also known to be the most dependable and reliable friend, coworker and also the kind of man every parent would want for a son in law.

My sweet son lived life to the fullest and truly enjoyed life as if he knew he wouldn’t be around for a long time.

His sense of humor was second to none, his deep and contagious laugh and his photo bombing  bug eyes became his trademark. Many people, including me, became victims of his pranks and many stories are still being shared and fondly remembered.

Dom’s best prank was one that involved a local Police Officer that helped him pull off the ultimate prank of all times. He arranged for that Officer to pull him over as he was on his way to the airport to go flying with a friend who visited from out of town. The Officer pulled them over and after some questioning of who, what and where, he asked Dominic to step out of the truck and handcuffed him.

Tom was visibly shaking and upset as the officer asked him where they were heading to. He shared that they were on their way to the airport to go flying and the Officer replied: “oh, is that what they call it now? Do you know he is the best known and busiest male prostitute known around here?  You are under arrest. ”

As poor Tom was about to lose it and pass out, Dominic and the Officer busted out laughing so hard and could barley stand up any longer.

This prank and so many others he pulled on unsuspecting friends will always put a huge smile on all of our faces and broken hearts.

Dominic taught all of us to enjoy every moment in life. He made us realize2931092114911511189 to live and love to the fullest, cease every moment and most of all, live without regrets.

He will never be forgotten and his presence is still felt by many who knew him.

I miss my “German Chocolate” son and his great Domhugs.

 

Read More

Since the day Dominic died……

992” You have changed” and ” Are you better now” is what I hear994279_10200499080334890_634953240_n people say.

My answer is YES and NO.

When Dominic was killed that horrific day on July 12, 2012 I KNEW I would never be the same. I knew I was forever changed and had to come to grips with a new reality. A new way of Life without the most important person in it.

I realized that I could just slowly die or that I could make a difference and continue my amazing sons legacy. The choice was easy. There was no way I would let his death be in vain.

There are many days that I can barley breath and the pain of missing Dominic is so intense that it takes every bit of strength to make it. I also learned to be  great actress and hide my pain, put on a smile and crack a joke.

No matter what , I knew I just had to continue and be Dominic’s voice. After all, I was all he had left.

July 10,2015 I got to meet Donald Trump in Beverly Hills and after sharing my story with him privately, I had the chance to share Dominic’s story with the World at a Press Conference set up by Mr. Trump.

My life changed even more after that. More News Stations were now suddenly interested in what happened to my only child and I took advantage of every chance to share who Dominic was and why he was no longer alive.

A few visits to Washington, DC , starting Twitter (@Sabine_Durden), a few more interviews on TV and Radio Stations and a lot more knowledge about Politics became my “new Life”.

Yes, I have changed.

No, I am not better. The pain will never go away and my heart is forever broken.

I could have stopped living after Dominic’s death. I could have just let life go bye. But I chose to share my experience, connect with other victims of Illegal Alien Crime, speak up and get active. I became a voice for many who can’t or are not able to speak up.

Sadly some people who were in my life, didn’t appreciate it or like what and who I was talking about.

Some disappeared, some tried to change my way of thinking and talking. They wanted to change who I became and didn’t like or understand the why and how.

While I lost some, I gained a lot of new friends and supporters that are by my side no matter what.

No matter what tragedy happens to us, we have a choice how we continue after it happens. Will it stop us from living or will it make us stronger?

I found out so much about me, my strength and just how resilient I am.

My sweet Dominic lets me know in many ways that he is around and very proud of his mom. I honor my son by continuing to share his story and be his voice.

While I make sure his legacy continues, I am also making sure that people will get to know DOMSMOM.11755677_10206118992707975_3371071187644558472_n

Never take a moment with your loved ones for granted and make sure they know how you feel.

 

 

 

 

Read More

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2016 and what it means to me.

Dominic’s 34th Birthday is approaching and another reminder how fragile life truly is. It makes me wonder how much time we have here on earth. What will I do with that gift of life and what will my legacy be? Will I be someone’s hero or inspiration?

Before Dominic’s death, I took life for granted. I was wasting plenty of time on things and people that brought nothing of value or substance.

Now I found my purpose. I found my voice and direction to make a difference. Dominic’s death taught me so very much and even though the pain will never disappear or get less, I can now share and reach out. I lost my fear of public speaking and I am no longer bothered by peoples opinion of me. Some appreciate what I do and speak about, some don’t like it at all. Some support me no matter what and some have disappeared.

When tragedies strike, we have 2 choices. We can just stop living, give up and stay in a dark place and suffer. Or we can stand up and make a difference. I chose to make a difference and continue Dominic’s legacy of a life well lived. I will continue to share who he was and how he got killed.

I will continue to shout and talk about Illegal Immigration and how our Government doesn’t care too much about enforcing existing laws and how anyone can become a victim at any given moment. I was never a political person, but seeing what s going on all around us made me get involved. We owe our families to at least be informed and be a part of positive change.

2016 will be more of living in the NOW, cultivating new and old friendship’s and continuing to share Dominic with the world.

THANK YOU to each and everyone for the unconditional love and support.9921013817_427190247389035_131731710_n536813_4467552971746_738393154_n

 

 

Read More

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

IMG_0947

 

 

 

The days leading up to Christmas used to be much fun and at times a little hectic.

I had a list of presents to get for Dominic, a list for items I wanted to bake and a list of people that would get a funny Christmas card. Then there was the food list, and the list of people who would get my famous rum cake. A list of people to visit. I almost needed a list for the lists.

I would always have one gag gift for Dominic and I knew he had one for me. We would try to outdo each other with the most creative and crazy way to wrap it, so the other would spend half of the day unwrapping.

From the time he was little until adulthood, we celebrated Christmas the German and American way. There were a few gifts exchanged on Christmas eve and then there were a few under the tree for him to enjoy on Christmas morning. When he was little he always though he scored double. And just as it became clear that it was mom who bought the presents and not Santa Claus, it became clear to him that I just divided those gifts. Many times I teased him about  how he thought he always got 004 (2)IMG_4636much more presents because he was German/American.

When Dominic was 10 years old, he asked me about the homeless kids and what they would do or get for Christmas. There was no better time to teach him and a few neighbor kids a valuable lesson. I asked each of them to bring a box of gently used toys and clothes and we all piled into our van and drove to a homeless shelter in Riverside. On the way there these little people were all excited for Christmas and all the gifts they expected. The noise level was up there and I smiled to hear such excitement. The ride home was a very different one. No one talked anymore about what gifts they wanted. Tears were running down some of those sweet cheeks and everyone was in deep thought. They all realized just how blessed they were to have a home to return to. Dominic was forever changed and so was I. It wasn’t about Christmas gifts or any other holiday that required gifts. It was all about who you chose to spend time with and how to appreciate everything you already have.

Dominic and I created our own Tradition from then on. He would usually work the shift for someone that had a family with kids. It wasn’t about the gifts or the food anymore. It was about the time we spend together. There were times I spend Christmas at a Firestation with him while he volunteered, or at the 911 Dispatch Center.

We created 30 years of memories that will never be erased in my heart and mind. I have tons of pictures to cherish and smile about.

My heart overflows with gratitude and sadness at the same time.1375865_10204144186619057_360206507140703629_n

There will no longer be a tradition to carry forward with him. There will no longer be that one gag gift that would have me on the floor laughing as I was unwrapping it.

There won’t be that deep voice and ginormous hug to wish me the very best of Christmas.

There is a lot of pain that comes for many of us who are missing a loved one. We have to learn to deal with this grief on so many levels. Every commercial is geared towards family, every store and restaurant plays the music that used to be so dear to me and now makes me cry and want to leave.

Christmas will never be the same and NO, time does not heal all wounds.

But I will get through this and all the other Holidays and events that come my way.IMG_0944CDAE65CE4_1000758

I shared all this to have you realize that in the end, we don’t remember the gift we received years back, or the food that was in front of us. We wont remember how much we spend or what stress we felt.

All we WILL REMEMBER and cherish is the time we spent with a person and how they made us feel.

Take a deep breath and stop running yourself crazy over things no one will remember later on. Enjoy every laugh and hug and enjoy the quiet time of  just being still.

I wish each and everyone of you  a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS/ FROEHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN and A HAPPY NEW YEAR/GESUNDES NEUES JAHR.

I wish you memories that will forever be in your heart and soul and endless times of laughter and joy
IMG_0494

 

many tight DOMHUGS from DOMSMOM

Read More

San Bernadino will never be the same, and sadly neither will we

While I was enjoying the quiet, tranquility and beautiful colors of Arkansas, a whole lot of evil was happening in San Bernadino, California.

I was watching TV in horror as everything was unfolding right in front of my eyes. My heart was hurting for the victims and their families and for the people being escorted out, not grasping at what was happening around them.

My mind and prayers also went to the 911 Dispatchers and First Responders. Even though they have extensive training, nothing could possibly prepare them for what was going on and unfolding right in front of their eyes.

Pure evil was at work to destroy and take innocent lives and change a city and its people living there forever.

Tears were streaming down my face and the sobs got heavier.

As the news shared more about multiple fatalities, I lost it big time. Memories of Dominic’s death came flooding back and the sound of someone telling me over the phone that he was dead. I knew that many people would hear these exact words, followed by seeing pictures on TV of their deceased loved ones along with the smug faces of the killers. It re-opened the wound in my heart. So many lives have changed within a split second and not just the immediate family, but the friends, coworkers and neighbors.

This will affect us all in one way or another, for the rest of our lives.

These 2 evil Terrorists hated so deeply that they didn’t even care about their 6 month old baby becoming a orphan.

Whatever our Government is calling this, we all KNOW what and who this was and that this will continue unless our Government steps up and does something about it.

But in the meantime we all learned AGAIN how quickly life as we know it can change.

Love and laugh, enjoy every moment of this precious life.

My prayers, thoughts and Domhugs go out to the city of San BernadinoIMG_1316

 

Read More

Crying and Praying for Paris

A few days ago I wasn’t sure what to post here. I have been struggling with my thoughts and words.

the month of November and December are always the hardest out of the year and I was already feeling blue. While people create their guest- and shopping lists and seating plans for Thanksgiving, I was dreading the 3rd Thanksgiving without Dominic. No more potlucks with him at the 911 Dispatch Center, because he would always work for someone who had kids. Thinking about my Birthday coming up and no more prank gifts or off key birthday song followed by the biggest hug.

I was really at  a low when I heard about the horrific attack on the people of France. Paris was under siege.

All of a sudden the pain I felt in my heart for myself, changed into pain for all those families who would get those brutal words ” I am so sorry, but your loved one is dead”. Oh how that moment on July 12,2012 was brought back into my memory and it brought me to my knees.

I started to cry for all the victims, the wounded and the dead. For the many Law Enforcement members that could never be prepared for this. Tears ran down my face for all the First Responders, Dispatchers and all the people who were not physically hurt, but would carry the scars of this day forever.

And then I started to think about all the wonderful moments with Dominic. From the day he was born, to the day I had to say Goodbye. I realized how truly blessed I was to have been chosen to be his mom for 30 years. Even though my heart is broken, I carry so many wonderful memorable moments that help me through the worst of days or nights

I am hoping and praying that one day, when the shock wears off and the noise goes away, they too, will be able to remember all the wonderful moments with of their loved ones.

May it bring a smile on their lips and hearts.

 

 

IMG_131611181095IMG_1727

 

 

 

Read More

Washington Trip Followup

The Press Conference at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. on Monday the 25th of October 2015 was a success. We were joined by the following hardworking and ever so diligent people from different states who had been writing about the issue of Illegal Immigration and the effects on our country and its citizens.
Steve Salvi, Founder of Ohio jobs & Justice Pac (www.Ojjpac.org),
Jack Oliver for Floridians for a Sustainable Population ( www.flsuspop.org),
David Caulkett for Floridians for Immigration Enforcement ( www.flimen.org),
Joe Guzzardi and Jo Wideman for CAPS Californians for Population Stabilization ( www.CAPSweb.org)
Jon Feere from the Center For Immigration Studies  (www.cis.org)
Congressman Brian Babin joined us as well, gave a speech and made sure to talk to each one of us who lost a loved one because of an illegal alien.
I introduced  Dominic and shared who he was, what he meant to so many of us and how he was taken from us.  Other victims parents that shared their horrific and sad stories were Ann Mendoza, Laura Wilkerson, Dan Golvach and Juan Benavidos.  We all walked to the White House and wanted to place all the banners with the pictures of our loved ones in front of the fence. But by the time we got there, the Secret  Service cleared the whole area and we had to leave the premises.
Not discouraged, we went to Capitol Hill to meet with the great Congressman Steve King.  After a great hour of sharing, discussing and many tears and laughter, most of the group had to leave for the airport to return home.
Mary Ann Mendoza and I stayed an extra day and got to visit with the wonderful Congressman Louie  Gohmert the next day. We also stopped by Congressman Trey Gowdy’s office and left messages about how proud and thankful we were for him. As we left he building, we experienced the Presidential Motorcade driving by us as we were ready to head to the White House again.  On our way there we got to spend some time and talk to an American Homeless Veteran in a wheelchair. It was heart wrenching to see a once proud military member hunched over, hurting and alone. We promised to never forget him and continue our fight for all Americans to be treated with respect and dignity and to be taken care of.
This trip to Washington, D.C. was another success in my book. I got to meet new fellow Patriots who want this country to become great again and I strengthened existing and create new friendships.  The message was heard loud and clear that we have to have our existing Immigration Laws enforced, our Border Patrol agents present at the border and able to do their jobs, Sanctuary Cities no longer funded with our Tax dollars and we have to make sure our American citizens are safe and sound. No other person should ever have to feel this kind of pain of losing a loved one because of a person that wasn’t suppose to be in this country in the first place.  Glad to be back home and ready for my journey to continue

Families of Victims Murdered by Illegal Aliens Storm Washington: ‘The Killer of My Only Child Served Only 35 Days in Jail!

Read More