Dominic’s life mattered and I am so very grateful and blessed that I was able to share his story and continue his legacy on a world stage.
Dominic’s life mattered and I am so very grateful and blessed that I was able to share his story and continue his legacy on a world stage.
4 years ago I was afraid of microphones and public speaking.
Now I am heading to the RNC and get to share Dominic’s tragedy on Monday night.
When i share how he was taken from all of us, my heart and prayers will be with all the other victims who can not speak anymore.
I will honor each and everyone that has ever been affected by this.
The last few days have been very hard to deal with and my heart is heavy and broken all over again.
Not only was Dominic working for the Sheriffs Department as a 911 Dispatcher, but his goal was to become a Helicopter pilot for the Police Department. He was also already working on becoming a motorcycle cop and excited to be out there on the front line with his friends.
My extended family, his friends are Law Enforcement and the news of officers shot, injured and dead was more than I could handle.
I was kind of glad that I was no where near a tv, but we listened to it all happening on the radio as we traveled from California to Arkansas.
I lost it big time. My heart was hurting for those brave officers running into harms way, while others got to run away and hide and stay safe.
My mind went to the terrified family members at home, waiting if their loved one would return after a tragic day like that or if a couple of officers would knock on the door to deliver a life changing brutal message.
I am still in shock over what is taking place all over the country and I pray it will be over before it gets worst.
On the eve of the 4th anniversary of Dominic’s death, my heart is extra heavy as many families feel the pain I have in my heart 24/7, because their loved one was ripped out of their life in a split second.
I wonder if they were as blessed as I was/am.
Will they be able to say they enjoyed each other’s company and lived every moment as if it was their last?
Would they get to say they have no regrets on how they lived each day with that person?
Did they get to say good bye and hug and kiss, not knowing it was their last time together?
Would they be as fortunate as I am to be surrounded by many supportive and loving people long after the funerals ?
I will never know the answers, but I pray that those left behind, picking up the pieces, will have a little gift like Dominic left me.
Please keep all the victims, their families and all the First Responders in your prayers and thoughts.
They will never be the same.
May God bless each one of us
…..so much pain, so many families destroyed and lives lost.
Every time I see another tragedy unfold, it re opens my already broken heart. It takes me to a ugly place and I also physically feel the pain of so many. I immediately remember that brutal phone call, where I was and I can even still hear myself scream as I was told my sweet Dominic was dead.
My heart breaks for all those victims and their loved ones. It goes out to the first responders that had to put aside their own fears and hurt in order to function. This doesn’t just affect the immediate family and friends of the victims. It affects so many and they will never be the same.
It just hurts deeply to know what so many now have to deal with from here on out. They will never be or act the same. The feeling safety and carefree is gone and many of the wounds will never be seen on the outside.
Our world has changed so very much. So very drastically. It’s scary and we have to explain to the little ones things we never imagined we would have to talk about.
We could just live in fear and stop enjoying this wonderful life we were given. But then evil will win.
We have to be more aware of our surroundings and be mindful of what’s out there. And we can’t stick our head in the sand or act like we don’t know. Ignorance is no longer acceptable with all the info out there.
Dominic’s short life of 30 years taught me so very much. He lived every day as if it was his last. Memories were created that so many, including me, cherish and hold dear to our hearts. He didn’t waste time with nonsense and truly made the very best of every day that was gifted to him.
Instead of living in fear and fear for the future, let’s create many sweet memories of fun and happy times.
Here are some of mine……
My head is still spinning from all that has happened and taken place lately.
On April 28th, I attended my first Trump Rally in Costa Mesa, California. Wonderful Robin H. made it possible to go behind the stage to meet Mr. Trump. What an exciting feeling to be around our next President again and to get that very comforting hug. The group also got to display all the banners with pictures of the victims of illegal alien crime on stage. Mr. Trump shared how he will make America great again, build that wall and make sure no other families will have to endure this pain and grief. After leaving the stage, many of my Twitter followers came around to take pictures and give me hugs. The media clearly stayed away from us and not one reporter wanted to hear more about victims of illegal alien crime.
My moms 96th Birthday was right around the corner and I went to Germany for a few weeks to celebrate with her and my family and friends.
On May 25th, I got to attend another Trump rally in Anaheim, California and was asked to share Dominic’s story with the thousands of Trump
supporters. The energy in the Convention Center was amazing and as Mr. Trump was leaving the venue, he saw our group and the posters of our beloved children. He made time to come over, kiss the faces of our late children and sign the poster. This was so spontaneous and real. Not staged or pre planned, but from the heart and genuine. As Mr. Trump signed Dominic’s poster, he was looking for me in the crowd and gave me the “thumbs up” sign and a huge smile. Breitbart is the only one that reported this very touching moment. The rest of the media stayed away as ususal.
On May 28th, we were invited again to attend the Trump rally in San Diego. I was honored to once again share Dominic’s story with the thousa
nds of Trump supporters and as I left the stage, I saw a lady sitting in the secured area and she was crying. I made my way over to her and as we hugged, she told me she knew my pain. She also lost her son. Only later did I realize it was Sean Smith’s mom Patricia. He died in the Benghazi attack that killed Ambassador Stevens and 3 others.
My head is still spinning and I am trying to recall all the events that happened in the last 2 month. Its clearly too much to write about, but it is clear how the media is avoiding us to share our stories. Many other moms and dads have to deal with the pain and grief I now have to endure 24/7 and I will try to get their stories out as well. Mr. Trump is the ONLY Presidential candidate that will talk about this issue and I am forever grateful to him for bringing awareness to this issue.
My life has changed with the loss of Dominic. I am not the same woman I was 4 years ago. My fear of public speaking is gone and I don’t mind sharing Dominic’s story with 10 or 10thousand people.
I was given a huge opportunity by Mr. Trump to make sure many people will hear how and why Dominic is no longer enjoying life and I will continue to share the brutal truth of our failed Immigration system.
Thank you to all the wonderful Twitter supporters, Facebook friends and everyone else who supports DOMHUGS.
A huge THANK YOU to Mr. Trump and his incredible team!
Dominic was my only child, my best friend, the love of my life, the best friend of so many and an incredible human being.
In his short 30 years of life, he accomplished more than some people do in a lifetime. He was named Volunteer of the Year 2004 in our City, managed to get his Private Pilot license and rescued his beloved Cyrus from the pound.
His motorcycle, traveling and hanging out with friends was very important to him and even though he lead a very busy life, he was never too busy to spend time with me. I now have 30 years of wonderful memories of times spent together.
Dominic was also known to be the most dependable and reliable friend, coworker and also the kind of man every parent would want for a son in law.
My sweet son lived life to the fullest and truly enjoyed life as if he knew he wouldn’t be around for a long time.
His sense of humor was second to none, his deep and contagious laugh and his photo bombing bug eyes became his trademark. Many people, including me, became victims of his pranks and many stories are still being shared and fondly remembered.
Dom’s best prank was one that involved a local Police Officer that helped him pull off the ultimate prank of all times. He arranged for that Officer to pull him over as he was on his way to the airport to go flying with a friend who visited from out of town. The Officer pulled them over and after some questioning of who, what and where, he asked Dominic to step out of the truck and handcuffed him.
Tom was visibly shaking and upset as the officer asked him where they were heading to. He shared that they were on their way to the airport to go flying and the Officer replied: “oh, is that what they call it now? Do you know he is the best known and busiest male prostitute known around here? You are under arrest. ”
As poor Tom was about to lose it and pass out, Dominic and the Officer busted out laughing so hard and could barley stand up any longer.
This prank and so many others he pulled on unsuspecting friends will always put a huge smile on all of our faces and broken hearts.
He will never be forgotten and his presence is still felt by many who knew him.
I miss my “German Chocolate” son and his great Domhugs.
My answer is YES and NO.
When Dominic was killed that horrific day on July 12, 2012 I KNEW I would never be the same. I knew I was forever changed and had to come to grips with a new reality. A new way of Life without the most important person in it.
I realized that I could just slowly die or that I could make a difference and continue my amazing sons legacy. The choice was easy. There was no way I would let his death be in vain.
There are many days that I can barley breath and the pain of missing Dominic is so intense that it takes every bit of strength to make it. I also learned to be great actress and hide my pain, put on a smile and crack a joke.
No matter what , I knew I just had to continue and be Dominic’s voice. After all, I was all he had left.
July 10,2015 I got to meet Donald Trump in Beverly Hills and after sharing my story with him privately, I had the chance to share Dominic’s story with the World at a Press Conference set up by Mr. Trump.
My life changed even more after that. More News Stations were now suddenly interested in what happened to my only child and I took advantage of every chance to share who Dominic was and why he was no longer alive.
A few visits to Washington, DC , starting Twitter (@Sabine_Durden), a few more interviews on TV and Radio Stations and a lot more knowledge about Politics became my “new Life”.
Yes, I have changed.
No, I am not better. The pain will never go away and my heart is forever broken.
I could have stopped living after Dominic’s death. I could have just let life go bye. But I chose to share my experience, connect with other victims of Illegal Alien Crime, speak up and get active. I became a voice for many who can’t or are not able to speak up.
Sadly some people who were in my life, didn’t appreciate it or like what and who I was talking about.
Some disappeared, some tried to change my way of thinking and talking. They wanted to change who I became and didn’t like or understand the why and how.
While I lost some, I gained a lot of new friends and supporters that are by my side no matter what.
No matter what tragedy happens to us, we have a choice how we continue after it happens. Will it stop us from living or will it make us stronger?
I found out so much about me, my strength and just how resilient I am.
My sweet Dominic lets me know in many ways that he is around and very proud of his mom. I honor my son by continuing to share his story and be his voice.
Never take a moment with your loved ones for granted and make sure they know how you feel.
2016 and what it means to me.
Dominic’s 34th Birthday is approaching and another reminder how fragile life truly is. It makes me wonder how much time we have here on earth. What will I do with that gift of life and what will my legacy be? Will I be someone’s hero or inspiration?
Before Dominic’s death, I took life for granted. I was wasting plenty of time on things and people that brought nothing of value or substance.
Now I found my purpose. I found my voice and direction to make a difference. Dominic’s death taught me so very much and even though the pain will never disappear or get less, I can now share and reach out. I lost my fear of public speaking and I am no longer bothered by peoples opinion of me. Some appreciate what I do and speak about, some don’t like it at all. Some support me no matter what and some have disappeared.
When tragedies strike, we have 2 choices. We can just stop living, give up and stay in a dark place and suffer. Or we can stand up and make a difference. I chose to make a difference and continue Dominic’s legacy of a life well lived. I will continue to share who he was and how he got killed.
I will continue to shout and talk about Illegal Immigration and how our Government doesn’t care too much about enforcing existing laws and how anyone can become a victim at any given moment. I was never a political person, but seeing what s going on all around us made me get involved. We owe our families to at least be informed and be a part of positive change.
2016 will be more of living in the NOW, cultivating new and old friendship’s and continuing to share Dominic with the world.
The days leading up to Christmas used to be much fun and at times a little hectic.
I had a list of presents to get for Dominic, a list for items I wanted to bake and a list of people that would get a funny Christmas card. Then there was the food list, and the list of people who would get my famous rum cake. A list of people to visit. I almost needed a list for the lists.
I would always have one gag gift for Dominic and I knew he had one for me. We would try to outdo each other with the most creative and crazy way to wrap it, so the other would spend half of the day unwrapping.
From the time he was little until adulthood, we celebrated Christmas the German and American way. There were a few gifts exchanged on Christmas eve and then there were a few under the tree for him to enjoy on Christmas morning. When he was little he always though he scored double. And just as it became clear that it was mom who bought the presents and not Santa Claus, it became clear to him that I just divided those gifts. Many times I teased him about how he thought he always got much more presents because he was German/American.
When Dominic was 10 years old, he asked me about the homeless kids and what they would do or get for Christmas. There was no better time to teach him and a few neighbor kids a valuable lesson. I asked each of them to bring a box of gently used toys and clothes and we all piled into our van and drove to a homeless shelter in Riverside. On the way there these little people were all excited for Christmas and all the gifts they expected. The noise level was up there and I smiled to hear such excitement. The ride home was a very different one. No one talked anymore about what gifts they wanted. Tears were running down some of those sweet cheeks and everyone was in deep thought. They all realized just how blessed they were to have a home to return to. Dominic was forever changed and so was I. It wasn’t about Christmas gifts or any other holiday that required gifts. It was all about who you chose to spend time with and how to appreciate everything you already have.
Dominic and I created our own Tradition from then on. He would usually work the shift for someone that had a family with kids. It wasn’t about the gifts or the food anymore. It was about the time we spend together. There were times I spend Christmas at a Firestation with him while he volunteered, or at the 911 Dispatch Center.
We created 30 years of memories that will never be erased in my heart and mind. I have tons of pictures to cherish and smile about.
There will no longer be a tradition to carry forward with him. There will no longer be that one gag gift that would have me on the floor laughing as I was unwrapping it.
There won’t be that deep voice and ginormous hug to wish me the very best of Christmas.
There is a lot of pain that comes for many of us who are missing a loved one. We have to learn to deal with this grief on so many levels. Every commercial is geared towards family, every store and restaurant plays the music that used to be so dear to me and now makes me cry and want to leave.
Christmas will never be the same and NO, time does not heal all wounds.
I shared all this to have you realize that in the end, we don’t remember the gift we received years back, or the food that was in front of us. We wont remember how much we spend or what stress we felt.
All we WILL REMEMBER and cherish is the time we spent with a person and how they made us feel.
Take a deep breath and stop running yourself crazy over things no one will remember later on. Enjoy every laugh and hug and enjoy the quiet time of just being still.
I wish each and everyone of you a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS/ FROEHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN and A HAPPY NEW YEAR/GESUNDES NEUES JAHR.
many tight DOMHUGS from DOMSMOM
While I was enjoying the quiet, tranquility and beautiful colors of Arkansas, a whole lot of evil was happening in San Bernadino, California.
I was watching TV in horror as everything was unfolding right in front of my eyes. My heart was hurting for the victims and their families and for the people being escorted out, not grasping at what was happening around them.
My mind and prayers also went to the 911 Dispatchers and First Responders. Even though they have extensive training, nothing could possibly prepare them for what was going on and unfolding right in front of their eyes.
Pure evil was at work to destroy and take innocent lives and change a city and its people living there forever.
Tears were streaming down my face and the sobs got heavier.
As the news shared more about multiple fatalities, I lost it big time. Memories of Dominic’s death came flooding back and the sound of someone telling me over the phone that he was dead. I knew that many people would hear these exact words, followed by seeing pictures on TV of their deceased loved ones along with the smug faces of the killers. It re-opened the wound in my heart. So many lives have changed within a split second and not just the immediate family, but the friends, coworkers and neighbors.
This will affect us all in one way or another, for the rest of our lives.
These 2 evil Terrorists hated so deeply that they didn’t even care about their 6 month old baby becoming a orphan.
Whatever our Government is calling this, we all KNOW what and who this was and that this will continue unless our Government steps up and does something about it.
But in the meantime we all learned AGAIN how quickly life as we know it can change.
Love and laugh, enjoy every moment of this precious life.