Since the day Dominic died……

992” You have changed” and ” Are you better now” is what I hear994279_10200499080334890_634953240_n people say.

My answer is YES and NO.

When Dominic was killed that horrific day on July 12, 2012 I KNEW I would never be the same. I knew I was forever changed and had to come to grips with a new reality. A new way of Life without the most important person in it.

I realized that I could just slowly die or that I could make a difference and continue my amazing sons legacy. The choice was easy. There was no way I would let his death be in vain.

There are many days that I can barley breath and the pain of missing Dominic is so intense that it takes every bit of strength to make it. I also learned to be  great actress and hide my pain, put on a smile and crack a joke.

No matter what , I knew I just had to continue and be Dominic’s voice. After all, I was all he had left.

July 10,2015 I got to meet Donald Trump in Beverly Hills and after sharing my story with him privately, I had the chance to share Dominic’s story with the World at a Press Conference set up by Mr. Trump.

My life changed even more after that. More News Stations were now suddenly interested in what happened to my only child and I took advantage of every chance to share who Dominic was and why he was no longer alive.

A few visits to Washington, DC , starting Twitter (@Sabine_Durden), a few more interviews on TV and Radio Stations and a lot more knowledge about Politics became my “new Life”.

Yes, I have changed.

No, I am not better. The pain will never go away and my heart is forever broken.

I could have stopped living after Dominic’s death. I could have just let life go bye. But I chose to share my experience, connect with other victims of Illegal Alien Crime, speak up and get active. I became a voice for many who can’t or are not able to speak up.

Sadly some people who were in my life, didn’t appreciate it or like what and who I was talking about.

Some disappeared, some tried to change my way of thinking and talking. They wanted to change who I became and didn’t like or understand the why and how.

While I lost some, I gained a lot of new friends and supporters that are by my side no matter what.

No matter what tragedy happens to us, we have a choice how we continue after it happens. Will it stop us from living or will it make us stronger?

I found out so much about me, my strength and just how resilient I am.

My sweet Dominic lets me know in many ways that he is around and very proud of his mom. I honor my son by continuing to share his story and be his voice.

While I make sure his legacy continues, I am also making sure that people will get to know DOMSMOM.11755677_10206118992707975_3371071187644558472_n

Never take a moment with your loved ones for granted and make sure they know how you feel.

 

 

 

 

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

2016 and what it means to me.

Dominic’s 34th Birthday is approaching and another reminder how fragile life truly is. It makes me wonder how much time we have here on earth. What will I do with that gift of life and what will my legacy be? Will I be someone’s hero or inspiration?

Before Dominic’s death, I took life for granted. I was wasting plenty of time on things and people that brought nothing of value or substance.

Now I found my purpose. I found my voice and direction to make a difference. Dominic’s death taught me so very much and even though the pain will never disappear or get less, I can now share and reach out. I lost my fear of public speaking and I am no longer bothered by peoples opinion of me. Some appreciate what I do and speak about, some don’t like it at all. Some support me no matter what and some have disappeared.

When tragedies strike, we have 2 choices. We can just stop living, give up and stay in a dark place and suffer. Or we can stand up and make a difference. I chose to make a difference and continue Dominic’s legacy of a life well lived. I will continue to share who he was and how he got killed.

I will continue to shout and talk about Illegal Immigration and how our Government doesn’t care too much about enforcing existing laws and how anyone can become a victim at any given moment. I was never a political person, but seeing what s going on all around us made me get involved. We owe our families to at least be informed and be a part of positive change.

2016 will be more of living in the NOW, cultivating new and old friendship’s and continuing to share Dominic with the world.

THANK YOU to each and everyone for the unconditional love and support.9921013817_427190247389035_131731710_n536813_4467552971746_738393154_n

 

 

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

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The days leading up to Christmas used to be much fun and at times a little hectic.

I had a list of presents to get for Dominic, a list for items I wanted to bake and a list of people that would get a funny Christmas card. Then there was the food list, and the list of people who would get my famous rum cake. A list of people to visit. I almost needed a list for the lists.

I would always have one gag gift for Dominic and I knew he had one for me. We would try to outdo each other with the most creative and crazy way to wrap it, so the other would spend half of the day unwrapping.

From the time he was little until adulthood, we celebrated Christmas the German and American way. There were a few gifts exchanged on Christmas eve and then there were a few under the tree for him to enjoy on Christmas morning. When he was little he always though he scored double. And just as it became clear that it was mom who bought the presents and not Santa Claus, it became clear to him that I just divided those gifts. Many times I teased him about  how he thought he always got 004 (2)IMG_4636much more presents because he was German/American.

When Dominic was 10 years old, he asked me about the homeless kids and what they would do or get for Christmas. There was no better time to teach him and a few neighbor kids a valuable lesson. I asked each of them to bring a box of gently used toys and clothes and we all piled into our van and drove to a homeless shelter in Riverside. On the way there these little people were all excited for Christmas and all the gifts they expected. The noise level was up there and I smiled to hear such excitement. The ride home was a very different one. No one talked anymore about what gifts they wanted. Tears were running down some of those sweet cheeks and everyone was in deep thought. They all realized just how blessed they were to have a home to return to. Dominic was forever changed and so was I. It wasn’t about Christmas gifts or any other holiday that required gifts. It was all about who you chose to spend time with and how to appreciate everything you already have.

Dominic and I created our own Tradition from then on. He would usually work the shift for someone that had a family with kids. It wasn’t about the gifts or the food anymore. It was about the time we spend together. There were times I spend Christmas at a Firestation with him while he volunteered, or at the 911 Dispatch Center.

We created 30 years of memories that will never be erased in my heart and mind. I have tons of pictures to cherish and smile about.

My heart overflows with gratitude and sadness at the same time.1375865_10204144186619057_360206507140703629_n

There will no longer be a tradition to carry forward with him. There will no longer be that one gag gift that would have me on the floor laughing as I was unwrapping it.

There won’t be that deep voice and ginormous hug to wish me the very best of Christmas.

There is a lot of pain that comes for many of us who are missing a loved one. We have to learn to deal with this grief on so many levels. Every commercial is geared towards family, every store and restaurant plays the music that used to be so dear to me and now makes me cry and want to leave.

Christmas will never be the same and NO, time does not heal all wounds.

But I will get through this and all the other Holidays and events that come my way.IMG_0944CDAE65CE4_1000758

I shared all this to have you realize that in the end, we don’t remember the gift we received years back, or the food that was in front of us. We wont remember how much we spend or what stress we felt.

All we WILL REMEMBER and cherish is the time we spent with a person and how they made us feel.

Take a deep breath and stop running yourself crazy over things no one will remember later on. Enjoy every laugh and hug and enjoy the quiet time of  just being still.

I wish each and everyone of you  a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS/ FROEHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN and A HAPPY NEW YEAR/GESUNDES NEUES JAHR.

I wish you memories that will forever be in your heart and soul and endless times of laughter and joy
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many tight DOMHUGS from DOMSMOM

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San Bernadino will never be the same, and sadly neither will we

While I was enjoying the quiet, tranquility and beautiful colors of Arkansas, a whole lot of evil was happening in San Bernadino, California.

I was watching TV in horror as everything was unfolding right in front of my eyes. My heart was hurting for the victims and their families and for the people being escorted out, not grasping at what was happening around them.

My mind and prayers also went to the 911 Dispatchers and First Responders. Even though they have extensive training, nothing could possibly prepare them for what was going on and unfolding right in front of their eyes.

Pure evil was at work to destroy and take innocent lives and change a city and its people living there forever.

Tears were streaming down my face and the sobs got heavier.

As the news shared more about multiple fatalities, I lost it big time. Memories of Dominic’s death came flooding back and the sound of someone telling me over the phone that he was dead. I knew that many people would hear these exact words, followed by seeing pictures on TV of their deceased loved ones along with the smug faces of the killers. It re-opened the wound in my heart. So many lives have changed within a split second and not just the immediate family, but the friends, coworkers and neighbors.

This will affect us all in one way or another, for the rest of our lives.

These 2 evil Terrorists hated so deeply that they didn’t even care about their 6 month old baby becoming a orphan.

Whatever our Government is calling this, we all KNOW what and who this was and that this will continue unless our Government steps up and does something about it.

But in the meantime we all learned AGAIN how quickly life as we know it can change.

Love and laugh, enjoy every moment of this precious life.

My prayers, thoughts and Domhugs go out to the city of San BernadinoIMG_1316

 

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Crying and Praying for Paris

A few days ago I wasn’t sure what to post here. I have been struggling with my thoughts and words.

the month of November and December are always the hardest out of the year and I was already feeling blue. While people create their guest- and shopping lists and seating plans for Thanksgiving, I was dreading the 3rd Thanksgiving without Dominic. No more potlucks with him at the 911 Dispatch Center, because he would always work for someone who had kids. Thinking about my Birthday coming up and no more prank gifts or off key birthday song followed by the biggest hug.

I was really at  a low when I heard about the horrific attack on the people of France. Paris was under siege.

All of a sudden the pain I felt in my heart for myself, changed into pain for all those families who would get those brutal words ” I am so sorry, but your loved one is dead”. Oh how that moment on July 12,2012 was brought back into my memory and it brought me to my knees.

I started to cry for all the victims, the wounded and the dead. For the many Law Enforcement members that could never be prepared for this. Tears ran down my face for all the First Responders, Dispatchers and all the people who were not physically hurt, but would carry the scars of this day forever.

And then I started to think about all the wonderful moments with Dominic. From the day he was born, to the day I had to say Goodbye. I realized how truly blessed I was to have been chosen to be his mom for 30 years. Even though my heart is broken, I carry so many wonderful memorable moments that help me through the worst of days or nights

I am hoping and praying that one day, when the shock wears off and the noise goes away, they too, will be able to remember all the wonderful moments with of their loved ones.

May it bring a smile on their lips and hearts.

 

 

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Washington Trip Followup

The Press Conference at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. on Monday the 25th of October 2015 was a success. We were joined by the following hardworking and ever so diligent people from different states who had been writing about the issue of Illegal Immigration and the effects on our country and its citizens.
Steve Salvi, Founder of Ohio jobs & Justice Pac (www.Ojjpac.org),
Jack Oliver for Floridians for a Sustainable Population ( www.flsuspop.org),
David Caulkett for Floridians for Immigration Enforcement ( www.flimen.org),
Joe Guzzardi and Jo Wideman for CAPS Californians for Population Stabilization ( www.CAPSweb.org)
Jon Feere from the Center For Immigration Studies  (www.cis.org)
Congressman Brian Babin joined us as well, gave a speech and made sure to talk to each one of us who lost a loved one because of an illegal alien.
I introduced  Dominic and shared who he was, what he meant to so many of us and how he was taken from us.  Other victims parents that shared their horrific and sad stories were Ann Mendoza, Laura Wilkerson, Dan Golvach and Juan Benavidos.  We all walked to the White House and wanted to place all the banners with the pictures of our loved ones in front of the fence. But by the time we got there, the Secret  Service cleared the whole area and we had to leave the premises.
Not discouraged, we went to Capitol Hill to meet with the great Congressman Steve King.  After a great hour of sharing, discussing and many tears and laughter, most of the group had to leave for the airport to return home.
Mary Ann Mendoza and I stayed an extra day and got to visit with the wonderful Congressman Louie  Gohmert the next day. We also stopped by Congressman Trey Gowdy’s office and left messages about how proud and thankful we were for him. As we left he building, we experienced the Presidential Motorcade driving by us as we were ready to head to the White House again.  On our way there we got to spend some time and talk to an American Homeless Veteran in a wheelchair. It was heart wrenching to see a once proud military member hunched over, hurting and alone. We promised to never forget him and continue our fight for all Americans to be treated with respect and dignity and to be taken care of.
This trip to Washington, D.C. was another success in my book. I got to meet new fellow Patriots who want this country to become great again and I strengthened existing and create new friendships.  The message was heard loud and clear that we have to have our existing Immigration Laws enforced, our Border Patrol agents present at the border and able to do their jobs, Sanctuary Cities no longer funded with our Tax dollars and we have to make sure our American citizens are safe and sound. No other person should ever have to feel this kind of pain of losing a loved one because of a person that wasn’t suppose to be in this country in the first place.  Glad to be back home and ready for my journey to continue

Families of Victims Murdered by Illegal Aliens Storm Washington: ‘The Killer of My Only Child Served Only 35 Days in Jail!

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Press Conference in Washington, DC

On Monday the 26th of October I will join a press conference in Washington,DC to once again, share Dominic’s story of his life and death.
I will be joined by other families who lost loved ones and feel the pain because of the action of an illegal alien.
We will share the devastating impact of illegal immigration and how we want to make sure it will not happen to anyone else.

National Press club  at 9:30 am
529 14th street, NW 13th Floor
Washington,DC 20043

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Sabine’s Story

People ask me who Dominic was and what DOMHUGS is about.
There was so much depth and substance to him and it is hard to explain him in just a few sentences.
Dominic was the kind of friend that you knew you could always depend on. The kind of buddy that would give his honest opinion and be there through thick and thin, good and bad.
The man other men would trust their wives and girlfriends to be around.
A person with integrity, morales and deep love for those he called family and friends.
Someone you could call at any time and he would be there.
A prankster with jokes and stories to make you laugh for days and the gentle shoulder to lean on when things were not that great.
Dominic was the kind of man you wanted for a brother, son in law, confidant and by your side.
He walked into a room and people were drawn to him. And yet he was a very humble man.
He put others before him and is still remembered as the gentle giant.
He worked for Moreno Valley TV, volunteered for the Local Fire Stations,worked at the 911 Dispatch Center for the Riverside Sheriff Department, became a Pilot and still found time for fun with his friends and time to hang out with mom.
His deep laughter was well known and so were the many pictures of him being the photo bomber with bug eyes in the background.
To me he was the best that ever happened in my life. From the first moment I looked at him until the very last time I got to touch him, he was my best friend, my rock, my buddy and the light of my life.
We had the best relationship, respect for each other and a true and unconditional love for each other.
He called himself a proud mommas boy and made sure people knew.
Our 30 years together were so precious and not a moment wasted. Many fun vacations together, motorcycle rides and just being in our shared home with our dogs.
It was easy living with him. We had our moments, but they never lasted and there was never a grudge.
We could speak about anything honestly and we’re best of friends.
When Dominic was taken from us, it left a huge, deep hole and not only in my heart, but innate heart of so many.
He taught me that we must live a life without regrets, to stand up for what we believe in and be passionate about life and people.Dominic taught me to live every day as if it was my last, tackle uncomfortable issues and to enjoy the little precious things we sometimes overlook for our world is too busy.
He is missed by so many from all over the world and he will never be forgotten.
I started DOMHUGS to continue his legacy and to share his story and to make a difference.
The way and how he died is important to share in order to seek change and to prevent others to have to deal with a senseless tragedy like this.
DOMHUGS will continue to make contributions to the city Dominic loved so much and help those in need.
DOMHUGS will also continue to share what I have learned and experienced since Dominic’s death.
I have changed because of this horrific loss and don’t want to waste any time or precious moments.
Some of the issues I talk about have nothing to do with a certain race, color or country, but all to do with law and order, right or/and wrong.
I know Dominic is very proud of me for being proactive and I will continue to share DOMHUGS until my last breath. His death will not be in vain.
This is my fight for Dominic and many others who can’t speak up anymore.
Thank you each and everyone for understanding, trying to understand and for loving me, supporting me and keeping Dominic’s memory alive.
Huge DOMHUGS to all of you

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Sabine goes to Washington D.C.

As I am waiting for my flight to Washington, D.C., I have a little time to reflect on the Avalanche that I was in for the past 2 weeks.
I first want to thank each and everyone for the incredible love, support, generosity and just being behind us for the last 3 years.
3 years ago I was looking at coffins and urns, trying to pick out flowers and just trying to wrap my head around what happened to our Dominic.
I still have a hard time with him not being here, next to me. But it is such a honor to see his name up all over the news (nation and worldwide)
I get to share this beautiful man with the world. I get to share his story and sadly why and how he died. His death was never an accident and u now get to make a difference in his name, to try to prevent another family to feel this pain.
I love each and everyone of you so very much and Anthony and u could not have made it this far without you all.

Huge Dom Hugs!

Love Sabine

 

 

 

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